Can I be autistic if I can do eye contact?
Yes, you can absolutely be autistic even if you are capable of making eye contact. While a "lack of eye contact" is a well-known diagnostic marker, many neurodivergent adults have spent years learning to mimic this behaviour to fit into a neurotypical world. This is often referred to as masking. You might have been taught as a child that "looking someone in the eye" is a sign of respect or honesty, leading you to develop a manual, conscious habit of doing so, even if it feels uncomfortable or distracting.
For many autistic people, eye contact isn't impossible, but it is "expensive" in terms of mental energy. You might find that looking someone in the eye feels like an intense physical sensation, or that it’s simply too much data to process while you are also trying to listen to what they are saying. To cope, many adults use "forced eye contact" techniques—like looking at the bridge of someone's nose or counting the seconds between blinks. Because this behaviour looks "normal" from the outside, it often leads to a late diagnosis, as doctors or family members assume you can't be autistic if you can hold a gaze.
If you find that you can "do" eye contact but it leaves you feeling drained or prevents you from actually hearing the conversation, you aren't alone. Understanding the difference between a natural social instinct and a learned performance is a huge part of the journey. To learn more about peeling back the mask and living life on your own terms, sign up for the free Life on Hard Mode newsletter below.